Evaluation of Wonderland by participants – a summary

 

Socially connective

In conversations, peer-to-peer interviews, on the closed Facebook group and in evaluation documents, participants and partners reported a range of ‘socially connective’ experiences.

 

“Hi guys hope your all ok. Been think a lot about you all in the last few weeks and how Wonderland changed me and others. And how it brought us all together. Miss my trips to Manchester with you all. Take care hope to see you all in recovery month.”

 

Responses suggested that the self -portrait process ‘got under the skin’ of partners, researchers and participants.

 

Painful feelings

It was not an easy space however; much of it involved confronting painful feelings. A film made during the workshops shows the emotional states of participants in front of the camera and during conversations used as voice over. The artists’ books are emotionally raw, as noted by various commentators.1

 

The first workshop was attended by 100% of participants for all three days, but at the second workshop four people (40%) didn’t return. Of those, two people left because of illness (which may or may not have been related to the demands of the first workshop). Of the other two, one said the family roots aspect of the homework was too painful, something he had discussed in therapy and as a result of those discussions had decided to withdraw from the research. The other wrote:

 

…hope your wonderland is going well sorry I couldn't see it through but it was good for me as it created a fear and I may of not gone through with that but after I went and did 100% Salford at the lowery on stage and I had similar fear of people looking at us and conquered it so you have helped me you have my permit ion to use anything you have of me and you don't go cutting me out ha ha good luck xx

 

The remaining participants responded to a suggestion that the drop out rate might be interpreted as a critique of the project by saying we should remember that being able to say “no”’ is an important aspect of recovery – learning to express your limits is part of the recovery process.

 

Others admitted to having had what they imagined were similar moments of intense struggle to those who had not come back, endured and overcome only because of the support of their peers.

 

Self acceptance

The six participants who completed the second workshop felt more connected and self-accepting by the end of the project, and more involved in photography. Two younger women said it had changed in profound ways how they dealt with emotions. They were able to talk more openly about their emotions and use photography with their children to transform their shared emotions in new ways. The photographic work, and the artist books acted as alternative communicative forms to talking and writing. As one participant put it, the photographic situations set up for the participants got into her body, her skin, and onto the insides of her mouth. This made her think about all the ways she had used words to lie to herself and others in the past; speaking with her body instead of with words meant she couldn’t deceive herself and others so easily. But now the body had spoken, she could come back to words and say things in new ways.2

 

Access to culture and education

The feedback suggested increased entry to cultural and educational areas not previously accessible.

 

“Before this, I thought art was for other people”

 

“How I felt this week - I honestly wanted to bow out of this as I felt I didn't get it, you are all more educated than me, I’m common, I'm not needed or able to give good comments on topics X and truth be told, the bond I felt with you all kept me going and I feel truly connected and empowered by the work and honesty and friendship we have built X 💗 to you all x even opened up a conversation with my mum about it, and she said that's one thing she regrets is not pushing me to feel the fear and doing it anyway X so from her she thanks you all for challenging me xx”

 

There were also comments were about the creative space the project enabled.

 

“Amazing weekend with thinking, feeling people who are brimming full of ideas and actions to make the world a better place for us all.”

 

Learning and reflections on questions of participation

Art can seem like a closed shop or a club to many people. If we want participants’ decisions about engaging in a project such as this to be based on real choice, we need to pay attention to what doesn’t work as well as what does. In this project more than half the participants undertook two intensive workshops, met in between and continue to meet now in relation to this project (November 2016). But of those who didn’t return for the second workshop, at least two reasons have surfaced: the emotional and social demands of the activity; and the language used to describe some of the activities between the workshops

 

There are different learning points and possible responses to this. We need to give instructions in clear language. Would it be possible to give participants more choice about which artists to work with, since a singular approach is unlikely to be attractive to everyone? Could we build in more co-production time with participants, not just partners, so that those taking part have a greater degree of control over what they are taking part in; is there a case, as some of the participants suggested, that saying ‘no’ and leaving a project at a time right for you, is not necessarily an indicator of project failure but rather of a healthy recovery identity?

 

 

 1 See for example Gemma Meek’s essay about the book which can be found in the     Exhibition area.

 2 This powerful and intriguing comment mirrors Bion’s concept of ‘the language of   achievement’ (Bion 1970, p.125), what Grotstein (2007:15) describes as the “primal language of emotions”.